Bittersweet

May 18, 2016 - A real mix of emotion - excitement, fear, anxiety, motivation, a bit of everything as I walked to the hospital to have my knee rebuilt.

I'd gone through a lot since the injury in early January and with the help of physiotherapy, was now able to run/elliptical anywhere between 5-15km at least 3-4 times a week. All in all, not too shabby for a guy with a torn ACL & MCL. I was feeling good, being active again and even had thoughts creep into my mind that, you know what, I'm okay, I might even be able to live like this.
But no, my team had officially started their season the previous weekend and being on the bench around all my friends and teammates quickly brought me back to the fact that I am far too young, with far too much yet to accomplish to be satisfied with a bummed out knee for the next 60 years.

So in we went, a routine day surgery that over 200,000 people go through every year in the US alone, no worries but very anxious to be taking the next step.

I came to, full of questions but wasn't exactly capable of processing the answers just yet. After a long nap and a couple days of being very immobile, I was able to get around without crutches, remove the bandages from my leg and fully weight bare - all massive steps in the right direction.

I've had an amazing support group of family and friends throughout this process and am on my way back to my normal. The routine physio sessions and taking care of the knee at all times are boding well for a full recovery. The goal now is 2017 but your guess is as good as mine for an exact month.

There are good days and there are disappointing days - no bad days, because no matter what, I am better off than when I didn't have a useable ligament. I can definitely say that you do notice a hollow type feeling when the ligament is torn, something is clearly missing that was always there. Immediately after the surgery my knee felt whole again - albeit very stiff and sore but whole.

Each week is a milestone that comes with progress, some weeks more than others but progress nonetheless. I'm 6 weeks post-op to the day and have made some great strides but patience is the key. Somedays feel like I could spring into a run and others feel like I've gone backward with stiffness. Hard-work and due diligence will pay off and leave all this behind as simply some small scars on the knee. My surgeon did such a great job that aesthetically you'd never know I did more than scrape my knee in a stumble.

Until next time. Keep working to your goals and fight through the struggles.

-KC